Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Loving Kindness

Yes, I still do exist, and yes, I still do write this blog. There was a bit too much life and I didn't write when I should have. Today I am jumping in with a post I have been wanting to write for a long time.

Have you ever noticed that when a friend makes a mistake, we are usually pretty good at accepting it and helping her move through it, and supporting her cleaning up the mess it caused? But when we ourselves make a mistake, or aren't perfect, we really tend to beat ourselves up over it. At least, I seem to have a tendency to do so.

It is very easy to be disappointed in yourself when you mess up something, or fail to do something which you felt you should have done. You know, when it turns out that you aren't the perfect mother you always envisioned. That maybe sometimes you are not successful in everything you do or try. Or that you didn't get to finish all 451 items on your to-do list for the day.

We sometimes forget that life isn't only about successes and about perfection. Life is just as much about failures and forgiving ourselves for our failures. Life is about falling down, and about getting up again. Don't beat yourself up for tripping and falling down. Those things happen. Get up, and hug yourself with loving kindness, and realize you are doing the best you can under the circumstances you are in.

Instead of focusing on the things which aren't getting done, I have been focusing on the things which I did get done. Which are always less than I wanted to, but even baby steps can take you a long way if you make enough of them. It makes an amazing difference to pat myself on the back for what I did do as opposed to yelling at myself for what I didn't get done.

Not to mention that I don't think it would be good for my kids to have a mother who is totally perfect. I feel it is important for them to see that I sometimes do screw up, or drop some of my juggling balls. I want my kids to see how to deal with imperfection, since they might have to deal with it some day too. I want them to realize that loving kindness is important and acceptable, even if deep down we sometimes believe that we aren't to be loved. So easy to only see the things we did wrong, so much harder to love oneself.

Hmmmm, I am rambling, but it's my blog, so I can ramble all I want. Instead of apologizing for the rambling, I'll ask you to show loving kindness towards yourself, and I will be happy with myself for finally writing this post.

Go in peace, friends.


Meritt said...

and you wrote all those paragraphs without actually saying what was done!!!!! LOL.

Epijunky said...

I can't tell you how much I needed to read this today.

Thank you.

Jewels said...

Happy Love Thursday Deer Mom!!!

AKA......Kathy said...

Wonderful advice, we should all try to follow more.