Thursday, May 25, 2006


Sigh, hubby's car broke down, so extra time and money is being spent. At least the sun finally is shining and I got some tomatoes in. One more day of chaos at home and I will be off for a whole weekend, all by myself playing go. Woohoo!!!

Sylvia is practicing for being 2, she is getting all they 2yo-ness down quite well. Hard to imagine that it almost is her birthday, the time both has flown and seems to be like she has always be here with us. If not in person, then in spirit.

Hubby's car just got towed, it's amazing how they backed it down our horrible driveway first, just on gravity, since it wasn't running. They obviously are more skilled at it than I am, I wouldn't dare to attempt that.

Monday, May 22, 2006


Finally back to it. Today it rained only half of the day, and I just could not stand staying indoors with the fighting kids. So I turned one of my veggie bed. It now actually looks like a veggie bed instead of like a particularly wild part of the garden. Cees did some weed whacking, so now it's even easier to see the bed.

Yesterday, a good on line friend passed away . Very sad about it. She had been sick for a while, but we were all sure she would beat this and survive. She didn't :(

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Sick of the Rain

Blech, will it ever stop? I am just as sick of it as Chris is. Everything is wet and muddy and yucky. We had homeschool club today and had to spend it indoors, blech.

Timmy wasn't feeling well today, I hope he will feel better tomorrow, AND I hope that nobody else will get it.

One fun language thing from Sylvia. She is talking more and more, making all kinds of sentences. But she doesn't have all the rules down yet. When I ask her 'Would you like to stay here, or come with me?', she will reply 'come with me'. So she isn't turning the 'me' into a 'you' yet. Will be interesting to see when she gets that.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006


Between iron man go tournament (one game every six hours, day and night for five days), jet lag, puking kids, nose bleeds, fights, visitors, normal kids fights, and the constant rain, things have been kind of crazy here today.

Of course, it does mean that I have no time to feel unsettled, but not sure whether this is the best way to do that ^^

I mostly wish the rain would stop, I can deal with anything else. It is just soooooooo gloomy. I spend some time outdoors in the morning, to do my aikido, but that's mostly it. Maybe I should go out for a walk later, although there isn't much (as in zero) sun light to soak up.

Baking bread, doing laundry, staring at the two weeks of laundry to be folded... Looks like it's time to make some tea and study go!

Monday, May 15, 2006


Today is a kind of unsettled day, not sure what is going on. I am not particularly depressed, just very very unsettled. It must be the reaction of all the stress I have been going through, and the fact that today I don't have many commitments to meet. So I am having way to much time to think.

Oh well, going to do some more go studying to ground me. A friend will be coming to visit soon with her new puppy, so that will help to ground me too.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

She Can Count To Ten

Yesterday, Cees came over to me and proudly shared that Sylvia had learned how to count to ten while I was gone. I thought that was pretty amazing, since she hadn't really shown any signs of counting when I left. I was less impressed when he added 'You just have to tell her every number and then she will say them!' ^^

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Katana and Goban

Life is good. Surrounded by family. This morning, I got up early, had a nice shower and then first went outdoors to do some aikido. I didn't even care about the pouring rain. Amazing how it didn't rain once in the Netherlands and it's pouring over here. Usually it's the other way around.

After my aikido, I got out my goban and replayed some pro games from memory, accompanied by real tea. I had ony been drinking tea bag tea in the Netherlands, so it was so nice to have cup of genmai chai this morning. Yummy.

Sylvia is very happy to have me home again, and has been playing go along with me.

Back to go studying (and baking bread, and five loads of laundry, and whatever)

Friday, May 12, 2006

Back Home!

Phew, good to be home again. It was a loooooooooooong trip, and it is 6am Dutch time for me now. Not that I totally was adjusted to that time zone anyway, in only 4 days. Or, as a friend helpfully pointed out to me, ever particularly were adjusted to my local time zone anyway ^^.

I was going to immediately sleep when I came home, but I fell asleep in the bus, so now am wide awake. Oh well, in that case I can study some go and maybe play one or two games.

Sylvia was very happy to see me again and nursed herself to sleep. She is saying many more words, they develop soooooooooooooo fast at this age. "Come mama, go pee, this way!"

Erik complained that I came back already and was wondering why I couldn't have stayed away till Sunday...

A friend picked me up from the bus station and supplied some good food and chocolate. She knows me well.

Thursday, May 11, 2006


Or at least a semblance thereof. Today was a quiet day, no obligations.

I decided to go find a bunch of dutch caches, mostly to ground myself into nature. I ended up walking six kilometers and finding three caches. I tripped over herons, there are so many over here. I saw magpies, a mama duck with twelve ducklings, loons with loon babies (loonlings? ^^) and lots more. It was good to be outside and surrounded by nature.

I got hit on by someone on the way back, a nice looking turkish gentleman, who was very disappointed when i told him that i was not interested. He asked me why not, I told him i had a husband and seven kids, but he didn't see why that would make a difference...

I will fly back tomorrow, it will be a long day. I will visit my oldest brother in the morning, and fly in the afternoon. Will be home late at night. My bag is filled with dutch goodies and weighs a ton.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Dear Dennis

I wish things could have been different from you, I know we all want to turn the clock back to last Thursday and to make this not happen. There must have been a reason for you to take this path, and I am struggling to find acceptance for your choice.

I still remember the baby you were, I used to babysit for you all the time. You were a typical toddler, full of life energy and temper tantrums. You grew into a delightful little boy, I always enjoyed seeing you grow and develop.

I haven't seen you much over the last years, living on another continent made us lose contact. I heard about you a lot, since you visited my mom quite often, but I did not have personal contact. I wish I could have known you as the man you became and I am sad about the choice you made. I am sending you all my love and you will always live in my heart. I hope you found the peace you were seeking.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

From The Netherlands

... after a long, long, long, long trip. But I did make it safely and navigated all the difficulties set up for people who do not live in the Netherlands, but still want to travel and use phones and such.

Sadness all around, but it is nice to see my family. I just wish it was a happy occasion. Tonight, I will go see Dennis to say farewell, and the service will be tomorrow.

I slept only about an hour or so last night, those cramped airplane seats suck for sleeping. So it has been a loooooooooooooooooong day.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Just a pic

I HATE Clothes Shopping

But had to do it anyway today. I couldn't find anything in my closet which was suitable for a funeral. All the nice blackish skirts i have had faded too much over the years.

So I sucked it up and went clothes shopping. I hate clothes shopping even more when I actually have to try on things. Like today.

I did find something suitable, new dress, new shoes, new travel bag, new tea mugs, new tank top (not for the funeral of course) and an Eating Well magazine for my friend. I spend a total of $12.20. Gotta love thrift stores. But I STILL hate clothes shopping.

Sylvia fell asleep without nursing tonight, good preparation for when I will be gone.

Sander tried to fix our toilet and only messed it up more. There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Oh well, off to sleep. Long trip tomorrow.

Sunday, May 07, 2006


I made my travel arrangements today. I will be flying out on Monday, to arrive Tuesday morning. The service is on Wednesday, and I will fly back on Friday. Will be a busy and emotional week. I am soooooooooooooooo glad now that I got my passport taken care of a few weeks ago.

I will be traveling all by myself, weird. That hasn't happened in ages, maybe not since I worked for IBM?

Sylvia is training to be 2yo by wanting to do everything herself. Today I wanted to buckle her in her car seat. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! SELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She was very definite and very loud about it. Gotta love 2yo's.

Friday, May 05, 2006


This morning, I got a phone call from the Netherlands. My twenty-something nephew has committed suicide :(

I will be traveling to the Netherlands next week to be at the funeral.